Editor's Comment...
Seems our regular gossip columnist has flown the coop for a bit. In her absence, Apollo decided to try to fill her shoes. Let us know how he did!
Hello all, it is you friendly neighborhood God of the Sun here. And since I am all-seeing and all-knowing, I've been asked to update everyone on the goings on in the past couple of months.
Since your petty mortal minds are so fragile, I will try not to completely confuse you.
Well, it seems that our favorite Half-Elf Bard and The Hairy Cleric have finally tied the knot. Or have they....???? She seems to think so. She's wearing a wedding ring. He has his, but refuses to wear it. Oddly no one knows who married them. I certainly thought *I* would have been asked to perform the ceremony. And where have they been hiding the past few weeks? They've somehow even learned to avoid my gaze, and that does not amuse me in the least. Perhaps I shall send them a girl-child that looks just like her father!
Spring is in the air, and so is love. I swear it is enough to make you sick with all the flirting going on.
There are two new children in the realm. A dear ranger gave birth to a little smelly female Missy. She claims it to be the product of lots of mead and an equally smelly Priest. Most everyone in the Realm isn't questioning that, having been down wind from both Father and daughter. But I happen to know that she has been seen catching quickies with a certain Don Juan Warrior. Who is the real daddy? Hmm... tune in next time, we may have an answer for that one.
This God's Gift has been busy as well. A regal half-pint Paladin was elevated to the highest levels when she presented me with a priceless Missionary. This one will be a Saint in no time - she is so angelic and radiant! My little flower has been seen all over the realm getting pointers from a goofy little mousey Missionary. The mouse has stars in his eyes and trips over his own two feet whenever she is around. He has presented her with several nice gifts and even protected her from a certain death at the claws of the Dark Phoenix by throwing himself at the beast. I'm betting she is only using him till she doesn't need anything he has to offer. After all, she is *my* daughter!
The Half-pint also is very quickly becoming popular with the male hunters in the realm. Since I have been privy to a picture I can see why. Just don't ask Don Juan to see his copy, he's been holding it close to his heart-on! She's also been seen hanging out with a Bard and a Predator Witchy. She's been stringing the poor Witchy along for a while now. There has even been a Shark that has been flirting with her. The Don Juan doesn't even seem to mind either. He is probably just a sicko that likes sloppy seconds.
On the other side of the realm, there is star-crossed lover that is getting nowhere fast. A delightful little ninja has been bending over (backwards) for a massive, very hairy Paladin. As limber as she is, he doesn't even seem to notice. She seems to have completely forgotten that he tossed her to the curb so rudely last year. Perhaps I shall allow her to see reality instead of her vision of a mate! Wait.. this is so much more fun. I do so enjoy watching her make an absolute fool out of herself.
A very talkative female druid also seems to be without a mate. Hmm.. I'm sure that another Female Druid would be more than happy to help her through the lonely nights. They have been flirting an awful lot. I bet half the realm would kill to see them in the same room together! And.. no, not in the arena, either. Wonder if we can fit 50 guys or so in that little room on top of the Khazarad Inn....
There are also a few people that Spring seems to have no effect on whatsoever. The Forest Queen is still not attached, even though I did see her dragging a wee Mage about the Realm. She loves to have her little slaves about her, but she dumps them as soon as they no longer amuse her. Her eyes do mist over every time they happen to fall upon a certain feral Mystic. I have watched her pause many times, and shake her head as if she knows it simply cannot be. While they shared a hide-away once, it will never happen again. He is simply too busy for her, and she is too much of a realist. Will the man enter the realm that can turn her proud head?
Even yours truly seems to be immune to the Spring. Other than my immaculate daughter, I've been without love now ever since the Goddess of the Dead decided to leave the realm of the living. Though, there are a couple of little Mystics roaming around that I wouldn't mind giving into a little lust for... Egrin. Perhaps I shall have them audition for me...
Sigh... it is time for me to once again ascend to my heavenly throne. If there is anything in the Realm I have missed, please let me know!!! If it is good enough, I just may have a suitable reward for you.
